New Year's Eve in the Hospice Ballroom

by Sawing For Teens

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1.
Her nails dig furrows, bleeding my arms in the night The crackling machinery Illuminates so painfully I know how much she hates fluorescent light The remedy calls for ingredients bought on the street Scratch the blisters till they bleed Render science obsolete Bathe it all in pale fluorescent light And the sunshine made it through the curtains And the weatherman made promises To come around again tomorrow With sunshine, with sunshine With sunshine Strawberry flowers blooming on sheets robbed of white Her waxy flexibility Sounding out phonetically You know how much I hate fluorescent light
2.
05:42
I’ve been waiting for an answer Here’s the question: she’s a dancer I think I learned that back in school Solitary, a betrayal We’re still friends but just in the mail I think I learned that back in school School is almost out on break Don’t forget to graduate Mix a drink and think about your day I heard they made a four-day week So much more to spend asleep The minimum, the minimum of wage I impress her with my patience It’s expensive education I think I learned that back in school I’ve been working on my education
3.
Take a walk in space with me And we'll escape the gravity The view is nice and no one knows we’re here I understood you underwater That golden afternoon The sweetest sweat, a taste just like my own Just like my home Oh, we can float away The sun shines lazy rays this time of day Oh, we can float away On the thunderclouds and the velvet breeze This is better, this is better than dreams Take a walk in space with me We’ll get lost where we can see There’s really nothing anywhere at all Sailing through the atmosphere We’ll melt away and disappear Just particles, sparkling in the sun In the sun
4.
Got a picture of your face It spins around, but won’t look my way While it makes few demands on my space It whines a lot, then asks me to pay For the dancing it does in my room Though that’s not what I asked it to do Well I’ve got my dancing hologram Just a little picture of you Ballerina school Never taught you how to choose The partners to lose Hologram girl Keep on dancing Hologram girl And me feet turn to ribbons from shards Of the mirror you left on my floor To fulfill your current desire I’ll just bleed, till you ask for more But you’re really not that clever Despite things your teachers tell you Yeah, you’re really just a picture Of a girl whom I can see through
5.
05:54
How it started is not important She was trapped there in her bed No more planning, just existing In a melody now And every night she dances while the needles jump into her arms And she says you’re my doctor I just watch her And we both hum that song I rang her sister I tried to beg her But there was silence on the line Some suspicion, some superstition There’s no medicine here And every night she dances while the needles jump into her arms And she says she’d pray for courage That I would need it That’s what the doctors say And the moral to the story is That doctors always tell you this: I can cure you now- you just close your eyes And hum this song A little notebook which she would scrawl in Brownish dots dried on the page Scraps of paper, cookie fortunes And things she’d do someday And every night she dances while the needles jump into her arms And she says I trust you doctor So I’ll just lie here While the needles play And the moral to the story is That doctors always tell you this: I can cure you now- this won’t hurt a bit I can cure you now- just a little pinch I can cure you now-you just close your eyes
6.
Mr skinny legs, with your big blind eyes Always hypnotize yourself with those pretty yellow skies Mr skinny legs, always following your scents You leave the dollar signs to those who set the rents Mr skinny legs, why you hardly ever eat You’re going to need your strength now to get back on your feet Mr skinny legs, it’s confidence you lack That little thread you’re tied to can help to bring you back And we can save you, we can save you For the children you’ll have, for the wife you’ll love For all those things you will become We can save you Mr skinny legs, you just need a loan For your intensive care and for a fresher, cleaner home Mr skinny legs, you’ll find help out there Please turn on your phone now and call someone who cares Mr skinny legs, you just need a home Mr skinny legs, Mr skinny legs
7.
03:12
Close your eyes And sing to me One last dance On New Year’s eve Number 5 is acceptance Smoky breaths And chlorine drinks And roads we’ll never drive again Number 5 is acceptance Little pills And memories Watch the sky as it recedes Number 5 is acceptance What we’re left with Can’t forget it Number 5
8.
I lost my grasp on you and you sailed out of sight A pale yellow birthday satellite And I’d always promised you no matter what it might cost To organize the searchers' stars to cross If you got lost Cape Canaveral I want to rent the shuttle tonight I need some astronauts To help me find a friend Who is lost in space again I hired astronomers to chart trajectories Of well-dressed rescue party invitees I printed some flyers up for interstellar roads And radio transmission microphones To guide you home I got some bad news from mission control We’ve run out of funding so they’re bringing us back home I found out the hard way, you can’t have a party Unless you bring money down To Cape Canaveral So I’ve just been sitting here staring up at the sky While the sunlight bleaches colors from my eyes Hoping you’ll float by
9.
I watched the numbers fall on the ground Some kind of program, you’re not around And I’ll watch the paint as it peels off the walls I can remember, remember it all I never remember the faces I see And names are just syllables, so easy to lose But I’ve got a way of remembering numbers You’ve got a face like a number to me I watched the carnival load up the trailers Just dusty taillights fading tonight And I got embarrassed when children were asking “Do blind men have memories of when they had sight?”
10.
In the mail this afternoon I got the note concerning you With all the bills and other useless shit It said that you’d checked out forever and a few old friends would get together For memories and hold each other up In the mail this afternoon I raised my hand in sixth grade class I was never too good at math I think they tried to tell me what he said That somewhere in some other place I’m watching sunlight on your face And you’ve just whispered “I’m so happy now" I think they tried to tell me what he said Albert Einstein said we’re all alive In some place and time That we’re all alive No words like “never” Only forever Albert Einstein He’s a man you can believe Had a little dream of us Cross the country on an old time bus Hiding out in little mountain towns A secret team of you and me We left the words we’d never needed You’d touch my hand and I’d know what you mean That’s the way we’re living in that dream I never check the mail anymore

about

Originally released on CD in 2005, this recording was remastered in 2018.

credits

released February 19, 2018

Recordings copyright John Brinton Hogan

Compositions copyright Canciones de Pesar (BMI) / BS Management Music (BMI)

Sleeve design by Joe Polevy

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all rights reserved

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Sawing For Teens California

Sawing For Teens is a sporadic recording project by John Brinton Hogan.

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